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On June 28 2008 our daughter Grace made her \u00a0grand entrance into the world. I got a call that afternoon from bm as we had made plans to meet that day to talk about Jay. I had given her all our contact numbers if she ever wanted or needed to get a hold of me, we talked often on the phone since April with the understanding that whatever we talked about would be documented. A part of me felt relived that she was going into labour now and not when we were out together I could not imagine how awkward that would be never mind what our support workers would say. Later that night I got another call from bm the baby arrived at 8 pm and her name was Grace. We had no idea what to expect next before bm gave birth there was talk among the support workers that it could be quite possible that they would apprehend the baby right after birth all we were told was to \u201cwait for their call \u201c. Two days later I got another call from bm she said that she wasn\u2019t sure if she could leave the hospital with the baby because the nurses weren\u2019t sure if \u00a0whether\u00a0it was safe for the baby to leave as birth father once again was on a rampage and headed to the hospital.In the meantime bm \u00a0had no where else to go except to a friend\u2019s house until it was safe for her to go back to her home. Mind you this did wonders for my sleep that night I had no idea whether we would get a call from \u201cD\u201d to pick up the baby or from bm. So for the next few weeks we waited and readied ourselves if we got the call. \u00a0In August we left Edmonton for BC \u00a0so we could attend my 20th high school reunion and visit with family. We had to have two plans for travel<\/p>\n
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- How to arrange\u00a0the paperwork for Grace\u2019s travel<\/li>\n
- Would the paperwork come in time for the trip<\/li>\n
- What we would need to bring for a newborn at the last-minute<\/li>\n
- Do we get the stuff now or wait until she\u2019s here and scramble like crazy the day before<\/li>\n
- How would family react if we showed up with the two kids in tow<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
There were at least a half a dozen things running through my head at once \u00a0things that I knew I had to figure out before we traveled I had to be ready for anything. So we informed our support worker, Jay\u2019s worker and everyone else in between on our travel plans. We were allowed to be away at the amount of time that the paperwork for Jay said we could. Under no condition whatsoever were we able to extent our trip longer and only allowed to stay in the city traveled no exceptions. It was one day before the trip and Jay had a visit that day with birth mom. This was perfect because this meant I could get some last-minute errands done while Jay was gone. The driver came for Jay and I took off to the grocery store reminding myself to not forget my cell. It became second nature to me, I never knew when or if I\u2019d get the call that mom would be a no-show. \u00a0Sure enough my cart was 3\/4 full when I got the call mom was a no-show. You could say that I was less than thrilled, I suppose you could say I was more angry and annoyed at birth mom to bail at the last-minute the last time she was going to see him for a week and she couldn\u2019t make the effort to show up. I dumped the cart and left the store still steaming but knew I had to pull it together because Jayson needed me.<\/p>\n
We made it back to the house at the same time and my radar was on full alert I didn\u2019t know what to expect was he going to rage and cry for the remainder of the day I didn\u2019t know. Later that night we got a call from bm. She wanted to apologize for the missed visit. She was depressed that \u201cJ\u201d, the kids birth father was mad at her and she just did not feel up to the visit. I learned a long time ago to keep my opinions to myself about anything bio family did or said, I had to if I didn\u2019t then I left myself open for being sucked into their dysfunctional world and I could not afford to do that. After years in the foster care system I learned that to survive I needed to keep my head on straight and not take what the bio families did personally easier said than done in my opinion and \u00a0still struggling with today. While talking to bm, Kevin and Jayson had just walked in the door I handed the phone to him and what happened next blew me away. Without any prompting from us at all Jay took the phone and stated \u201d You forgot about me\u201d . He wasn\u2019t mad, crying or upset he said it in a matter of fact voice and in truth he was right. I think it must have caught everyone off guard especially bm because after that Jay passed the phone to me only to hear the dial tone she just hung up.<\/p>\n
For the next week we concentrated\u00a0 on spending time with family and friends, bbqs and the beach. I had a great time seeing all my highschool friends and remembering old times and seeing where their lives had taken them. It was hard to believe 20 years had gone by so fast it seemed just like yesterday we were getting ready to graduate.<\/p>\n
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\u00a0 On June 28 2008 our daughter Grace made her \u00a0grand entrance into the world. I got a call that afternoon from bm as we had made plans to meet that day to talk about Jay. I had given her all our contact numbers if she ever wanted or needed to get a hold of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-377","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-foster-care"],"wppr_data":{"cwp_meta_box_check":"No","cwp_rev_product_name":"","cwp_rev_product_image":"","cwp_image_link":"image","cwp_rev_price":""},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3Kor8-65","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bergenbearcubs.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/377","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bergenbearcubs.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bergenbearcubs.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bergenbearcubs.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bergenbearcubs.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=377"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/bergenbearcubs.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/377\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1619,"href":"https:\/\/bergenbearcubs.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/377\/revisions\/1619"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bergenbearcubs.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=377"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bergenbearcubs.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=377"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bergenbearcubs.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=377"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}